


So strong and handsome built

by FlareWarrior



Series: Kinktober 2017 [13]
Category: Kingsman (Movies)
Genre: Kilts, Kinktober 2017, M/M, fuck yeah
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2017-10-29
Updated: 2017-10-29
Packaged: 2019-01-26 09:53:54
Rating: Explicit
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 898
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/12554840
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/FlareWarrior/pseuds/FlareWarrior
Summary: Merlin can't get a moment's peace in his kilt.(that may have been his intention)





	So strong and handsome built

**Author's Note:**

> Inspired by every glorious piece of kilt art that's come across my dash recently. Three guesses where the title came from.

"Absolutely criminal," Harry purred. "Dressing that way in a church."

Merlin turned as the door clicked shut. Harry watched the movement appreciatively; Merlin's kilt flared out around him enough to show a hint of skin above his prosthetics. The marvels of engineering themselves were mostly hidden by high red socks, which, if Harry wasn't mistaken, were hiding more than the usual weaponry.

There was a glow about Harry's vision already from the champagne, a year's sobriety at work, and it cast the room and Merlin in it in a certain ethereal quality. Tall windows lit the dark wood accents and Merlin's broad form with bright sunshine. It really was very church like, which made Harry's rapt attention on the hemline of Merlin's kilt that much more sordid.

"It's a wedding," Merlin replied, voice flat, and Harry scavenged back in the seconds to remember what he was replying to.

“Even worse.” Harry untucked his hands from his pockets and strode forward. Merlin took an apprehensive step back, but only one. Harry stopped well into Merlin’s space to skate his fingers up along his forward leg under the kilt's hem. There was a flicker in Merlin's eyes at the feather-light but undeniably indecent caress, a slight dilation of his pupils accompanied by a fetching blush. Then Merlin caught his wrist before his searching touch could creep any higher.

"I didn't wear this so you'd jump me in the coat closet."

The shadow of a little thief stole its way up to Merlin's back from its hiding place behind the mirror, a smirk playing about his features.

"Then why do you smell like soap?" Eggsy asked, lips brushing the skin of Merlin's neck as he spoke.

"There you are," Harry murmured, smiling, and Eggsy winked at him over Merlin's shoulder.

"Figured my options were to corner him in here or pitch a tent through the ceremony."

"Maybe," Merlin said loudly over them, "I took a shower because I live in a developed country and intended to go somewhere prestigious."

"So close to the wedding that you didn't have time to marinate in coffee like usual?" Eggsy's fingertips trailed up the back of Merlin's thigh. "Never been this close to anyone wearin' a kilt," he continued when Merlin didn't dignify his observation with a response. "Got me real curious about all them rumors."

"I have it on good authority that they're true," Harry said, and emphasized the statement by pressing his uncaptive palm over the pleated fabric squarely at the apex of Merlin's legs. Merlin grunted, his hands flying up to brace on Harry's shoulders, but Harry was too preoccupied with the decidedly solid resistance of his sporran to appreciate the freedom immediately.

"You've weaponized the kilt," he marveled, flipping the pouch open curiously.

"What, has he?"

"It's a _military uniform_ ," Merlin grumbled. "And far easier to outfit than the bloody tailored suits."

"I can't leave you alone with anything for more than an hour," Harry quipped, unmoved. He peered in at the neat little row of perfectly-cut circuit boards Merlin had brought along. "What on earth is this?"

"Enough computer power to take down a small network for roughly an hour, or a large one for fifteen minutes." Merlin replied, his tone a touch proud. They both knew Merlin well enough to understand that _small_ and _large_ on his scale referred to countries. "Too many revenge stories start out with an unsuspecting woman losing the love of her life on her wedding day."

"Roxy's already got her origin story though."

"Yes, but Tilde hasn't."

"Fair enough," Harry agreed, Eggsy grimacing at the mere thought, and returned to his climbing exploration.

"Oh my god, he's stashed strips of C4 in the pleats."

"And you'd best leave them be," Merlin griped.

"I ain't after your toys, mate." To emphasize, Eggsy took a handful of his arse and squeezed. Merlin rocked his hips on the rough treatment, eyelashes fluttering on a soft, eager sound. Eggsy’s smirk grew at it, his touch wandering. “Guess it _is_ true.”

Harry's fingers encountered lace just a hair higher than he'd managed to reach before, and he decided that really was uncalled for. Control snapping, he hauled Merlin against his chest, slotting a knee between his thighs and capturing his lips in a greedy, demanding kiss. Merlin's grip tightened on his suit for a moment before loosening in difference to the fabric, the press of his unmistakably hard and naked cock insistent against the top of Harry's thigh.

Not to be outdone, Eggsy pressed tight to Merlin's back. Merlin jolted in Harry's arms from whatever Eggsy had done with his distraction, breaking from their kiss to gasp. Eggsy's lips split into a wicked grin at the sound.

"Our boy is very good with his hands," Harry observed, feeling said hands fast at work as he returned his own to Merlin’s thigh, letting the explosive fabric catch and bunch at the edge of his watch.

“Better with my mouth,” Eggsy murmured, “Lucky you, takin’ that shower.”

With that he dropped to his knees.

 

Merlin's lack of hair allowed him to look less thoroughly debauched than he was when they hurried out to take their seats.

"What's the garter do?" Eggsy whispered in his ear at the reception, toying with the lace under the table. Merlin smirked a bit, replying low so only Eggsy could hear him.

"Lure in unsuspecting spies."

**Author's Note:**

> (I'm the worst I know. I might come back and write more kilt porn later because the kilt needs more porn.)


End file.
